Heath and I’s love story is one of Faith, Patience, and Obedience. I want to share it with you all because saying yes to Heath is one of the biggest “Ventures” or leaps of faith I have taken thus far. The journey from when I first met him to when I said yes was a journey of both heartbreak & restoration. God has used this story more than any other thing in my life to test my trust in Him (God), and to strengthen my faith and obedience. Below is the story that Heath & I wrote together for our wedding website. I hope that through reading this you can gain encouragement that God has your best story in mind even if you don’t see it. I hope that you can be encouraged to trust and obey him in the hardest areas, because He is worthy of your trust.
ACT I:
H: We met at church in the Fall of 2007. I remember seeing Rachel for the first time on a Wednesday night sitting in the front row next to her friend Kelly who had invited her. (Kelly, I am forever in your debt) I was supposed to be making a few announcements on behalf of my youth pastor, Jeff Ivey, before church started, but I completely blanked after making eye contact with Rachel. Jeff was dumbfounded as to why I didn’t make any of the announcements we had discussed not minutes earlier. I made up some excuse and tried to gather myself. I knew I had to talk to her, but the real question was how to do so without being creepy. (the goal of any single, Christian dude in his twenties) Thankfully I heard someone call her by her last name, “Fritsche.” This was my in. For those of you who are not familiar with the size of her family tree, it is massive.
R: I remember being first attracted to Heath’s smile. He truly lit up the room and was so full of life and personality.
H: Rachel and I are about four years apart in age, so I used good ole Facebook to contact her in an effort to save her and myself from any hounding from the teen horde at church. To get the ball rolling, I asked her what Fritsche tribe she was from. To put this question into perspective, she had a cousin three years ahead of me in school, another cousin two years ahead of me, two cousins in the same grade one year ahead, I graduated with her older brother, and played on a little league team with yet another cousin. (and no, this is not a comprehensive list)
R: I remember one of our first conversations being about TOMS shoes? Randomly. well, after he established the Fritsche family that I was from. I think Heath was the one that originally told me about TOMS shoes. Anyways, we got to know each other a little bit on Facebook, shared a couple McDonald’s hamburgers, and eventually started talking on the phone and spending time together in person. I will admit that while creeping on the social media accounts that he had, I discovered some songs that he wrote and quickly began day-dreaming of Heath singing songs like that to me. Also during this time, Heath gave me a really special book, Experiencing God. Through this book and through watching Heath walk with the Lord daily, I began to experience a deeper intimacy with the Lord myself.
H: We talked for a few months and officially began dating in the Spring of 2008. She began her freshman year at the University of Arkansas a few months later. I put quite a few miles on my ultra stylish 2004 Grand Am during that season of life. I was more than happy to make the trips to see her, and to think we used to consider that “long distance.” (more on that later) We would spend time when we could. It wasn’t easy finding time where our schedules would line up, but it was always fun when we did. I had the pleasure of getting to know some of her amazing friends in the Chi O sorority during that chapter of our story, some of whom I consider friends of my own.
H: Even before we officially started dating, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me I was going to marry this girl. I remember this day vividly. February 17th, 2008. To say I was freaked out would be an understatement. Remember: I wasn’t even dating this girl yet, so I had no idea how to process all that I was feeling at that time. I drove straight to my parents’ house and directed a question to Dad with Mom sitting to his left, “how did you know Mom was the one?” I was so very confused, but inexplicably happy at the same time. Looking back, I would say that I had a true fear of LORD in that moment.
R: Heath has always been very patient with me. He has also always been very honest. The times that he opened up and told me how strongly he felt about me, to be honest, terrified me. I did not understand how he could be so sure about his love for me. I knew that I cared for and loved him but I never knew how to respond to his confidence in us and confidence in the Lord.
H: Just like any other relationships, we had our ups and our downs. But during the winter of 2010, Rachel began feeling holy tugs on her heart to end our relationship. She prayed earnestly over this for weeks and ultimately made the courageous decision to follow God’s guidance and break up with me on January 23rd, 2011. That was rough. No two ways about it. I learned to trust her in this time. I mean really trust her. My first thought was God’s promise years earlier that I would marry this girl, but now I had to trust that the woman I loved was chasing after God’s own heart. I had to let her go in the same way she was letting me go. I told Rachel that to move on and wholly seek Truth, we had to have complete radio silence. She agreed and we didn’t really speak for the next three years.
R: Heath’s confidence in our relationship and my unsureness, finally resulted in our break up. He was 4 years older than me, and like I said before, very sure of us, and sure that the Lord had called us to be together. He was ready to get married and I still had growing up to do and dreams to pursue. Also, God had not given me the same confidence in us that Heath had. I could not for sure say at that time that he was the one I was supposed to marry and I also felt completely un ready for marriage. The thought of marriage was actually a really scary thing for me at the time! So after a drive out to Colorado with some friends and my college mentor, Linda plus a couple months of praying, I ended the relationship.
INTERMISSION:
H: In the years following that fateful January night, we would go our separate ways. Rachel graduated from the UofA and went on to the Physician Assistant graduate program at Harding University in Searcy, AR. I finished college and moved to Colorado on May 25th, 2012 to pursue a career with Compassion International in Colorado Springs. (this is a fun story, but we really don’t time to share it here) We grew in our faith and both had the honor of seeing God do indescribably awesome things. Neither one of us seriously dated anyone else. We just didn’t feel any strong connections. I remember many times being so unbelievably frustrated with Rachel, because any time I tried to date, the girl would never compare to Rachel. I was frustrated because I knew she wasn’t thinking about me, and yet I couldn’t move on. I couldn’t shake her. I wanted to forget the promise I held in my heart that I was supposed to marry her and just totally forget about her.
R: The time we spent apart was very valuable time for me. It was very hard to say good bye to Heath for what I thought was forever, but I knew it was God’s answer to my fervent prayers for guidance. Looking back, I see so many reasons why this time was necessary. Heath was an instrumental part in my faith walk. He set an incredible example of someone who walked with the Lord daily who’s faith was living and active. He was constantly in God’s Word, and he challenged me to do the same. These things are still true of Heath today. But the time apart, allowed me to make this daily walk my own, somewhat of a testing, to see if I would live out the daily walk of being a christian without Heath’s example and support. I was able to mature and develop into a young christian woman, and dive even more fully into ministry at the U of A, in my sorority, and pursue my dream of becoming a Physician Assistant. During PA school at Harding, I was more available to pursue deep friendships and fellowship with my fellow students than I would have been if Heath and I were dating long distance or married at that time. This proved to be very valuable. I even had matured to the point that I now desired marriage, saw it as a wonderful (not scary) thing, and had started praying much more for my future husband.
ACT II
H: Fast forward to October 19th, 2013. Rachel was driving from Mountain View to Little Rock to spend some quality time with her friend Taryn. On the way, she felt overcome by thoughts about me. She wondered how my life was and prayed for me. She was even brought to tears at one point. She hadn’t thought about me in a long time, so this was obviously a complete shock.
R: Heath explains this well. Truly out of no where, on this car ride, I began thinking about Heath. We had legitimately not talked in the last 3 years, I had not thought about him much due to all my thoughts being consumed by PA school, and the Lord truly had allowed me to surrender Heath and my dreams of marriage, completely to His care. So it was strange that he came to my mind. I could not shake the thoughts, so I prayed for him and thanked God for his influence in my life for the entire car trip from Mountain View to Little Rock.
H: A couple weeks later and nearly a thousand miles away, I was driving to Denver on November 2nd to meet up with a Craigslist seller to purchase some guitar equipment. After some small talk, I discovered that this guy and his wife had at one point lived in Northwest Arkansas and knew of Rachel. That man and his wife were none other than Jordan and Darby Hurst. This connection came from the beautiful community of New Heights Church in Fayetteville. Come on. What are the chances? I was amazed and in shock. I knew I had to tell Rachel who I had just met. That was my thought as I was dialing her number. By the second ring; however, I remembered that this is the only woman I have ever loved and prayed that she wouldn’t answer. Thankfully, that prayer was answered with a “no.” Remember, Rachel had recently thought about me for the first time in three years and now she looks down to see my number shining on the face of her phone just two weeks later.
R: I was shocked to see Heath’s number calling me just 2 weeks after the road trip episode. I showed the phone to my mom and asked her what to do. She told me to answer it!! I really think if God had not prepared my heart a couple weeks before, I may have been too scared to answer. But, because of what had happened, I had a sense that the Lord was up to something and that there was at least purpose in whatever phone conversation would ensue. So, I answered, and he was excited to tell me the “small world” happenings of running into Jordan and Darby in Denver. We caught up a bit, and then slowly after that phone call, we began to keep in touch.
H: After that phone call, we kept in touch off and on. It didn’t seem to me that there were any romantic feelings between us. It was weird at times, but it felt good to talk with someone who used to be my best friend. While texting her on December 18th, 2013, I made the mistake of calling her a pet name that I used to call her when we dated. As I watched the load bar progress, I was already typing my apology. “I am so sorry. That was out of habit. I promise. I am so embarrassed. I may or may not ever talk to you again.” She was sweet about it and brushed the text off. Then, we didn’t talk for nine days. I thought, “that was fun while it lasted I guess.” She sent me the longest text I had ever received on December 27th. She explained that she wanted to give our relationship another shot and honestly laid her heart on the line. I still didn’t feel any romantic feelings toward her. I responded and thanked her for her bravery and honesty, but there was no way on God’s green Earth that I was going to finish this conversation via text. I asked if we could Skype to talk about this. She agreed and I called a few hours later when she was free that night.
H: I had two reservations. One, Rachel would get very anxious any time we discussed marriage when we dated in the past. I explained that if we were “going to give it another shot,” then we would have to know that marriage is a very real possibility. Two, I wasn’t sure what my future would hold, but God had me in Colorado until He says “leave.” She told me that she had already thought about these things and that she fully agrees. That was the moment. That was when all of those emotions came flooding back. That’s when I was reminded yet again of that promise from February 17th, 2008. It became more clear why I couldn’t forget her after we broke up three years earlier. I couldn’t forget about her because God hadn’t forgotten about us.
R: As we reacquainted, I learned what Heath’s life had been like for the last three years. It was really nice to learn what all he had been up to. He was now living in Colorado working for Compassion International. Although our breakup was confusing to him, he had continued to seek the Lord’s voice and obey. His story of moving out to Colorado was one of faith, and it reminded me of the character, obedience, and joy of this man that I had fallen in love with 5 years before. Although I had matured much in my spiritual life during the time of singleness, I now remembered how sweet it was to have companionship and shared passion with one who is simultaneously a dear friend, brother in Christ, and one who I loved deeply. I was no longer afraid of marriage, and I quickly fell back in love with him, this time with the knowledge and acceptance of where it was heading. Most importantly, I now had the confidence that that’s what I was ready for, confident in, and what God was calling us to. I knew he would have reservations, so I knew I had to be upfront and honest with him from the beginning.
ACT III
H: Earlier I made mention of Rachel and I considering the stretch of interstate connecting Fayetteville to Fort Smith to be long distance. We went on to discover a truer sense of the phrase “long distance relationship.” During the first year of us dating for the second time (yeah that’s confusing) Rachel finished up her Master’s program at Harding. She then accepted an incredible opportunity to go through Baylor’s School of Medicine P.A. Fellowship in Houston, TX. These were hard seasons, but unimaginably fruitful. We learned to communicate, we had to. It was all we had. We couldn’t depend on date nights or exciting adventures to sustain us. We had to talk. We had to be honest. We had to choose to make time for a phone call even if we didn’t feel like talking. We chose each other.
R: The long distance season in Houston was hard. I was working for the first time M-F 8-5, in a new state away from my family, and away from Heath. It was also a time of grieving. One of my dearest friends from PA school, Lauren, had been killed during my clinical year of school. Because of the nature of the program, I didn’t take time to do grief counseling or really process things through, I just put my head to the ground and finished the program the best that I could. Moving to Houston, away from everyone that I knew, allowed time for the grief to come out. I finally went to grief counseling which was tremendously helpful but still, there were many dark times during that year. Heath, like always, was encouraging and supportive, even at a distance. Our relationship was tough during this time, but the little time we did get to spend together in person, was always filled to the brim with deep joy and true fellowship.
R: I knew I wanted to apply for jobs in Denver, we had talked about marriage and knew that it was in the near future. An amazing opportunity came about at a refugee clinic in Aurora, CO, and after my one year fellowship was complete, I moved to Denver. Heath and I now lived walking distance from one another, it was too good to be true! We could go on weekly dates, buy our groceries together, and go to the same church! We enjoyed finally getting to date in the same place and finally being on the same page emotionally.
H: After completing the Fellowship program, Rachel accepted a job at a refugee clinic just outside of Denver. I had started a new job and was living in Denver. Finally after all that time of long distance, we were in the same city. We enjoyed the following weeks like our relationship was fresh and new. It’s so much more fun to shop for groceries with the love of your life by your side. We spoke often about marriage and our future. I knew I had to propose before my heart exploded.
H: I had wanted to ask her to marry me for such a long time. I can’t tell you how many different ways I had rehearsed this scenario. I wanted it to be meaningful, but more importantly, I wanted it to be uniquely us.
H: I had a football coach, Coach Gamble, who ran a special kind of goal line drill one practice. As the offense approached the ball, he announced to the defense what play we were about to run. As we, the offense, looked back at him with eyes of betrayal, he told us that we should find a way to execute no matter the obstacle. This memory was my inspiration for how I proposed.
H: The night before I asked Rachel to marry me, I wrote a letter affirming some beautiful qualities that I cherish about her. The following is the conclusion to that letter:
H: “I hope tonight that she spends time thinking about our story and thanks the Father for all the twists and turns, the ups and the downs. Rachel is my best friend and tomorrow I am going to ask my best friend to marry me. I hope she says yes, but most importantly I hope she knows that when I see her, I see Jesus.”
R: So, it was a little strange knowing the night before that he was going to propose the next day. But Heath does like to do things differently. We both enjoy doing things out of the ordinary, and because most people try to keep their engagement a secret, it actually was very fitting for him to tell me. Plus, our whole relationship this second time around had to be incredibly open and honest, so why not this part of it too? I tossed and turned that night, with an excitement, of course, not being able to sleep. I wondered about what exact spot he was thinking and came up with my best guess of what he would do. I was right about the spot. Our engagement was perfect and beautiful and surreal. After all this time, Heath finally got to get down on one knee and I finally got to say YES! with all of my heart, having confidence from the Lord that this was indeed His good and perfect plan for us.
H: I gave her this letter and told her goodnight. I picked her up the following morning with a road trip playlist prepared. It was an album that had come to be our anthem for windshield time. I drove us up into the mountains to a spot that looked out on a pristine, quiet lake in Leadville, CO.
There was no one else around but us, standing in a piece of God’s breathtaking creation. I had so much I wanted to say to her before I popped the question, but my mind drew a blank after a few sentences…just like the first time I saw her so many years before.
I want to know… How does this story speak to you? In what ways have you STRUGGLED to trust God in your love life? In what ways have you TRUSTED God in your love life?
